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Is No Sex Before Marriage a Set up For Incompatibility?


Abstinence till marriage

For us, “abstinence before marriage” did not mean that we never revealed if there was a potential medically issue that could hinder intimacy. (There wasn’t, but that’s beside the point here.)
It did not mean that we acted like we weren’t interested in each other.
It did not mean that we never brought up looking forward to our wedding night.
We conversed about our dreams, our fears, and our concerns.
Abstinence doesn’t mean hiding under a rock. Abstinence doesn’t mean denying physical functions exist. Abstinence doesn’t mean being naive. Abstinence doesn’t mean not desiring each other.
Abstinence simply means refraining from taking action on certain desires before a certain time.
Was there a tiny bit of a learning curve? Yes. But long-time married couples in delightfully happy and intensely intimate relationships will tell you they are still learning.
Provided any medical concerns are revealed - and emotional ones as well, if trauma that will be triggered by intimacy is present - before marriage, abstinence does not by default potentially harm future relations.
Abstinence, in general, delays a lifelong learning process just a little while longer.
Abstinence, at worst, will lead to false expectations and heartache - but that is due to deceit and incomplete communication, and is not primarily the fault of abstinence.
Abstinence is a wonderful path that avoids many common dangers that sex can involve. Abstinence before marriage is what many Christians believe pleases God. Abstinence can lead to a beautifully fresh intimacy that is not clouded by history or previous experiences and expectations.
Is it perfect? Nothing on this earth is.
Is it potentially beautiful? Yes.
Is it easy? No.
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